SOMETIMES WE NEED TO TRAVEL THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE ALONE. WE NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT WE ONCE LOVED ABOUT OURSELVES, THE PPL AROUND US, AND THE WORLD. I WAS IN SUCH A SEVERE STATE OF DEPRESSION I BUILT THIS WALL AROUND ME SHIELDING MYSELF FROM EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND ME. I WANTED TO DISASSOCIATE MYSELF FROM THE WORLD, I BOUGHT SURVIVAL KITS, BOOKS, KNIFES, AND GUNS THINKING ID BE BETTER OFF TRACKING IN THE STREETS AS A NOMAD YEARNING SO BAD TO BE FREE, BUT I FELT SAFE BEHIND THIS INVISIBLE WALL BECAUSE ID RATHER BE BORDERED UP. IT WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE TO MOST PEOPLE, BUT THAT WAS HOW I FELT GOING THROUGH MY DEPRESSION.... I PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY, I SET UP BARRIERS PEOPLE COULDN'T CROSS, AND NOW THAT I AM ALONE, I AM FORCED TO JOURNEY BY MYSELF. ITS WHAT I NEED, THE PATH I AM ON IS ME BEING LOST, ITS ME FINDING MY OWN WAY...
At 44, I see myself growing into a better me. I had so much discord for myself, and oftentimes I still do. A part of loving yourself is realizing the hard truths about who you really are. I have to be honest, I am terrified of falling in love again only to be hurt, but as I get comfortable with who I am, I am okay with the boundaries I have set. Just a thought, outside of being hurt again, what drives you to remain single???
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