MY FIRST REAL HEARTBREAK TAUGHT ME HOW TO BUILD WALLS. I LOVED HER WITH ALL THAT WAS IN ME. AND ONE DAY SHE JUST LEFT ME NO EXPLANATIONS, NO WHYS, NO FUCK YOUS, ANYTHING. I DID NOT REALIZE THEN, BUT NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MAY THINK IT WILL GIVE YOU CLOSURE, YOU STILL HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO WORK THROUGH IT YOURSELF. I AM DEFINITELY A MAN GROWING THROUGH PAIN AND GRIEF, BUT IM LEARNING TO DEAL WITH IT.... FINALLY.
SOMETIMES WE NEED TO TRAVEL THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE ALONE. WE NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT WE ONCE LOVED ABOUT OURSELVES, THE PPL AROUND US, AND THE WORLD. I WAS IN SUCH A SEVERE STATE OF DEPRESSION I BUILT THIS WALL AROUND ME SHIELDING MYSELF FROM EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND ME. I WANTED TO DISASSOCIATE MYSELF FROM THE WORLD, I BOUGHT SURVIVAL KITS, BOOKS, KNIFES, AND GUNS THINKING ID BE BETTER OFF TRACKING IN THE STREETS AS A NOMAD YEARNING SO BAD TO BE FREE, BUT I FELT SAFE BEHIND THIS INVISIBLE WALL BECAUSE ID RATHER BE BORDERED UP. IT WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE TO MOST PEOPLE, BUT THAT WAS HOW I FELT GOING THROUGH MY DEPRESSION.... I PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY, I SET UP BARRIERS PEOPLE COULDN'T CROSS, AND NOW THAT I AM ALONE, I AM FORCED TO JOURNEY BY MYSELF. ITS WHAT I NEED, THE PATH I AM ON IS ME BEING LOST, ITS ME FINDING MY OWN WAY...
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